Confessions..

It is not my custom, (or perhaps since I have been blogging only 3 months, I have'nt yet established custom)
to post my everyday doodlings on my blog. And I have many. The back of my notebooks ,my canvas and the words my colour.

It is sitting in class, with a rather attentive and ever-so-earnest look on my face,the sort of look that makes even the most demonic of all profs assume a benign smile when (s)he beholds me, that I fill the void(sometimes self-induced...most times boredom induced) with words that are'nt worth a hoot to anyone else.

I scribble lyrics and lines of poems that I like. I try to write some of my own. But I have long since given up. I have realised that creativity in that sense , is not my forte. I simply cannot rhyme. Nor do I have much sense of rhythm myself. Although I can appreciate it otherwise.

Anyway, So ,as I was saying , It is not my custom to post doodlings. But this one is especially dear to me. Although it's a load of mush. Another thing, that for my own sake, I try not to indulge in too much.
But offlate, I have been feeling so god damn nostalgic about old times, friends long gone and past loves.(or whatever)

This is something I wrote a while back...When I fancied myself in love. Oh, I try,as part of self-preservation, to convince myself that if something does'nt work out , then it must have been imagined . That's why the "fancied". I'd rather believe that I was never really in love , and that 'that' was'nt the real thing than believe that life can be so infinitely disappointing. So ,even if it means self-delusion...lol

Anyway..here it is:

Confessions.

“Sorry.Don’t be that way”
“I love you”. That’s what you said
“I miss you”. Will I ever hear that?

Sorry. Will that bring you back?
You loved me? And yet pushed me away?
I miss you. But do you care?

Sorry.I have got to say it.
I loved you. You know that I did.
I miss you.Will I ever stop?


Sorry. But I’ve given up hope.
I loved you. And nothing changed.
I miss you. Could ‘we’ really have been?