Sunday, January 28, 2007
But now, it seems that after all, we do not want it. It is too peaceful,this serene,calm friendship that has followed. We have relaxed into being who we are secure in the knowledge that someone loves us and cares for us very deeply, like the still water whose depth is difficult to gauge. And yet, we are unsatisfied. After all, should thrill and uncertainity be our aphrodisiac? Is it? Stability,Security,Honesty,Love - Don't they tip the scale? Can it be that turbulence is what we really seek?
Or is it our mind's recourse from the boredom of the permanence that our hearts may desire?
Saturday, January 27, 2007
It's 11:30 AM and I woke up half an hour ago. The sunlight was streaming through the windows too brightly for me to keep my eyes shut and I was beginning to feel hot. I looked at the time and jumped out of bed and logged on to check MSN weather.
It is FOUR god damn degrees and the skies are blue!! No wonder!!! It's 8 degrees hotter than yesterday!
I'm in a great fucking mood!!! The first song was perfect.. CCR!! It's just set the tone for my whole day!
I'm going to go out and get me some sunshine!! I'm going to have a wonderful meal ! I'm going to study my butt off !! I'm going to just be... Happy!!
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
I'm giving my mind away,
In little bits and precious pieces,
With the things I say!
Initially aimless, awkwardly conceived
Often hurried, admittedly naive
sometimes incomplete trains
of my thoughts and impressions
don't instantly transform into coherence
Quickly, help me, I can't seem to clot them.
The devil words, that are born in a rush.
Too alive! They clutch and drag
and convey my just-borns away.
Gushing, oozing , struggling
the letters seep out of me. Bleeding me
dry of opportunity,
to just stay still.
And perhaps even dwell a little
Long enough to introduce myself.
Too late , they are gone.
And I'm left standing there
staring after my run-aways,
[stamped, in retrospect, definitively : Mine!]
the orphaned parent,
betrayed and unsure
but aware of clocks ticking
and creativity leaking
slowly out of her.
and whether, to begin again.