Ladies And Gentlemen, A Guy Friend Of Mine...

The following is a chat on google talk.. It reflects how different men can be from women in the way that they think about some things I suppose... I've always had more male friends than female so I've come to accept these differences and just laugh at them but sometimes it actually strikes me that no matter how much of a tomboy i was, I've become a woman who now has far less tolerance to male idiosyncracies. I find a lot of things that I used to just accept at face value , as downright stupid.. That's not to say, I think men are stupid.. No siree, The following conversation was with the most intelligent person i know... And probably one of the most intelligent people i'll ever know.. And yet sometimes , I want to smack him on the head and ask him to be less of a dick!!!

So here goes..

Sneha: busy?? I just thought i'd say hello, it's been awhile..

Friend: no

Sneha: then why on earth does it say you are busy?

Friend: because i don't bother changin my status .. And it stops most idiots from chumma messageing me

Sneha: lol... ok

Friend: what are you upto?

Sneha:i'm writing something..

Friend: writing?

Sneha: ummm.. well trying to atleast

Friend: why..and more importantly what?

Sneha: for the blog.. and what.. well not sure yet..have you got your phone fixed?

Friend: my cell you mean?

Sneha: yup

Friend: no

Sneha: idiot.. get it fixed please.. It's very painful not to be able to get through to you if i want to..

Friend: i find life better without the cellphone

Sneha: i can imagine!!

Friend: most of my college mates are irritating me

Friend: they are always organising bloody get-togethers..last year crap
why can't people just leave me alone... i can't stand human beings

Sneha: hello!!!!!!!!!!! you are talking to one!!! Do you even realise...

Friend: i am sorry, but i mean in general..

Sneha: and if you dare say , i don't consider you one di,... i'll kill you

Friend: no..its not like that.. I don't mean you..ok.. maybe the human beings remark was slightly over the top..

Sneha: yeah... SLIGHTLY

Friend: but in general.. i can't bear with this obsessive need that people have for other people
Sneha: lol.. ayyo!! What are you going to do when you get married and have little Friends running around the place

Friend: yeah.. well if the kids are like me , it would be alright.. and good for humanity

Sneha: Ok, first, whoever said kids are like the parents.. And second , wow.. you aren’t contesting the you with a wife and kids imagery!!

Friend: Btw, did that happen in your last year at that place you were studying before

Sneha: (and he ignores my previous statement) No man, thank god.

Friend: good for you

Sneha: Actually, it was more like I just didn't go to any of that crap. I only went for the official farewell which we left in half an hour and went to bike and barrel.

Friend: yeah.. Isn’t it kinda boring..

Sneha: yeah kinda

Friend: i find it not only extremely inane, but also very irritating..i can't stand my college mates.. They are just so dumb...sometimes i sincerely feel that the world would be a better place without those irritating bastards

Sneha: J Isn’t that being a little harsh. I mean, I know what it's like to be surrounded by people who you think are just too stupid for words but to want to kill them off.. come now, is that nice??

Friend: yeah.. well i don't care about whether it's nice... Apparently there is a crazy get-together today

Sneha: ok? and?

Friend: yeah.. there is one today.. thats all i know the thing with these get togethers is.. i find no incentive in going there. I just can't get the point of the whole affair

Sneha: what incentive do you want?

Friend: anything

Sneha: there is surely the food

Friend: which i would pay for? thank you, but I would like to decide the place, when i am paying for it. And by incentive i mean something that would probably make me go there

Sneha:yes I know what incentive means da…You know , you are quite the definition of misanthropic

Friend: no..

Sneha:What do you mean no?? If that’s how you are , that’s how you are and I for one am ok with it.. And btw what would be a good incentive , hot chicks types??

Friend: not necessarily..

Sneha: phir kya?

Friend: something that would suit me..

Sneha: like a supercomputer to play with?

Friend: that would be fun .. of course..but you know..there are other fun things that people can
get together and do.. apart from sex that is.. even though I can't think of anything..

Sneha: oh really like what...??

Sneha: it's a get together for crying out loud.. the point is to meet PEOPLE... but when you hate people it's kind of pointless for you isn’t it?

Friend: maybe you are right..

Sneha: what fun things can people get together and do?? play spin the bottle as though you are 16?

Friend: what fun is spinning a bottle?

Sneha: ayyoooo!!!! Krishnaaa!!! what do i do with someone like you!!!

Friend: why?see.. let me put it this way, i am not really misanthropic, really, i mean it.. just that
I hate most of the people i've met so far.
if you haven't noted it... i used ‘most’ in my previous sentence.. that means there are some people whom i don't dislike

Sneha: spin the bottle is a game where people sit in a circle and someone places a bottle in the centre and you spin it..

Friend: and?

Sneha: and which ever two people the ends point to, have to kiss

Friend: yuck..

Sneha: lollllll… why da, I always got the impression guys didn’t mind a few free kisses…

Friend: think of the possibilities

Sneha: such as? someone having to actually kiss you... I know that's tough for them

Friend: what happens if the bottle comes up with a homosexual argument.. something like 2 guys or 2 girls.. (2 girls would be fun.. though...)

Sneha: you would say that... pah!! What’s with men and lesbians??

Sneha: no, see.. from what I understand , unless they are willing... you spin again

Friend: this game would never work… no would want to make out in public

Sneha: it's not full and full making out…just a kiss

Friend: come on..

Sneha: anyway obviously that holds no appeal for you.. so let's move on

Friend: no.. i do like the idea of getting kissed..

Friend: just that I don’t think it will ever work…but the thing is who in public will be willing to do
that... this is Chennai.. with a capital C, which actually stands for conservative

Sneha: I guess you are right… I certainly would’nt kiss any old guy.. besides we aren’t teenagers with hormones coursing through us uncontrollably… A hypothetical question though.. What if you had to kiss a girl you found completely unattractive , would you still kiss her??

Friend:why would i not kiss an unattractive person….i don't lose anything. See.. if she is like a weird vampire with blood sucking teeth and all that I might think twice..

Sneha: oh my god...

Friend: what?

Sneha: the way you put that is gross...

Friend: see.. What is it that really offends you, the way I said it, or the what I said…

Sneha: oh god!!!! Never mind what offends me, you probably won’t get it.

Friend:if its a woman who is ordinary looking , not a "hottie" or even moderately unattractive.. thats ok..

Sneha: anyway.. Let’s talk about something else da.. I just don’t get the male perspective on things like this..

Friend: see.. i WILL definitely have a problem if i am interested in her enough to want her to be my gf or something

Friend: but if its just a kiss..

Sneha: hey can i put this conversation on my blog

Sneha: this is priceless

Friend: lol.. go ahead… but.. Don’t portray me as a total misanthrope. as i said. i don't like most people. but I do like certain people (you for example are quite ok)..

Lovers!!

It's eleven fifteen, or therebouts, in the morning. And I'm on Mount Road . All I can think about is getting to where I'm headed, as quickly as possible. I'm cursing the heat , cursing the cop at the signal , cursing the traffic and pretty much cursing all through. Not one of my best days!

We pull up at one of the several traffic signals on that arterial road. I look around me, not particularly noticing much. Everyone else, I suppose , is also in their own world. The fact that we share a space for a couple of minutes and hate every second of the wait is probably all we have in common. Or maybe not!

Suddenly, I hear peals of laughter... It pierces right through my reverie, striking me as so out of place as to almost jar my senses. I look around to find that the source of the sound is a girl around my age, in a car. She's giggling so hard. And beside her in the car is a somewhat cute, if he wasn't so scruffy looking, guy. Now, this piques my curiosity. Finally, I stop focussing on the heat and all the unpleasantness of mid-morning traffic. I love watching people.

They seem to be in an extremely animated conversation. Their voices are loud but not particularly coherent at the 10 feet distance that I am from them. Naturally, they've attracted quite a bit of attention. My city is still it's good old conservative self. If it happens to perceive a girl and guy together , it will, as sure as the sun will shine, jump to the conclusion that they are in a relationship and promptly shall it's judgemental nose be turned up in disapproval.

And as I look around at my fellow travellers , I realise they have not disappointed. There is much disapproval in the air. "How CAN a girl and a guy openly enjoy each other's company?" Almost sacrilegious! As for me, I'm too amused by the couple and everybody's reaction.

I go back to looking at them a little more discreetly, the traffic has moved a little and i'm closer to them. I'm trying to gauge what their relationship could be. As it happens, I need wonder no more. The most unusual public display I've ever witnessed unfolds. The guy is talking really loudly, almost at the top of his voice and she's sshhhhing him , telling him to keep his voice down...
Then He's saying to her " But sweets... That's how I feel... I don't care if everyone knows.. Infact, I want to tell everybody" and then still at the top of his voice he continued , " Listen up, everyone... I love her.." I don't know how many people heard this, most of them had returned to the business of minding their own business. A business they would have readily abandoned,had they happened to pay attention to the guy's declarations, in favour of a lot of laughing and pointing.

I am so tickled. I look at the girl to see her reaction and she looks positively embarrassed , as one might expect. I think the guy might have gone on with that particular line of conversation with the world, and he did look like he had a lot to proclaim, expect that she seems to be pleading with him to keep quiet while looking around to see if everyone is looking at her. I look away , I wonder if she notices my broad grin. I can hear her laughing still.... She isn't unduly upset.. She must be in love with him too!!

As a friend of mine would say... "Awwwww, How CUTE!!! "

And the traffic light glows Green!! I smile to myself, thinking how that guy probably doesn't realise he made my day a little brighter.

One Hundred Metres Later : The lot of us are forced to halt at yet another signal... I'm looking out for the couple's car. I am quite disappointed for the couple of seconds until i eventually spot them. But then, the passenger window is rolled up. Damn!!

I reconcile myself to having seen all there is to see. But, apparently their little exchange is not over.. I hear the girl protesting pretty vehemently and the guy is trying to roll down her window. I catch a glimpse of her face and she's flushed with embarrassment. And then the guy leans out, points to the girl beside him and yells to the nearest guy - An auto driver as it so happened - " Listen dude, I'm in love with this girl ..." or something very similar, in Tamil!!!! So i'm pretty sure a whole bunch of people heard and understood what was happening. The auto driver definitely did and so did his passengers.His face broke out into a huge grin and he burst out laughing. I wonder if there's a scene like that in some tamil movie that the whole little episode reminded him of. Well , at the very least it I think it might probably be something he'd go back and tell his wife or whoever at the end of the day about the crazy people in the city!

I wonder if the dude is a bit tipsy. And realise it's highly unlikely. It's too early in the day. And he's driving straight. SO, it must be just being in love?? What do you know!!! It can do strange things to people!! I guess if it were me, I'd be mighty embarrassed, not unlike that girl. But it must be pretty awesome to know that someone is so utterly in love and so happy as to want to scream it at the top of their lungs. I know a lot of people might find such behaviour ridiculous and absurd. But I'm a romantic. I don't know if i'd particularly care for this method but I love the sentiment behind it.

It must be wonderful to be madly in love...

Identity?

And then, she chose to emerge from the shadows of an alias and a long absence...

Ok, so it's been a while since i've written..And, as is evident, I'm rusty. Bear with me.This is a work in progress.

Six months ago, I was pretty sure that I was done with blogging. It seemed to have run it's course. But I'm back because I miss writing. I miss the community. I've played with this idea for quite a while now ( the idea being, getting rid of the psuedonym and getting back to blogging.) And have finally realised I have no need to hide behind anonymity anymore.. So, say goodbye to Mercury..

And hello to Sneha!

Hopefully, this change will be accompanied with a renewed zest for writing...